Siren no. 5

“Starting with my mother and sister and now a circle of close friends, I know I have a safe place to fall back on even as my amygdala runs wild in everyday life.”

Aisha

She/Her
Freelancer
Social Anxiety, Depression, Selective Mutism

I don’t remember exactly when my mental health struggles began because I was too young. I was 29 when I first heard the term “selective mutism” and realized that was the name of my childhood social anxiety disorder. I knew I suffered from social anxiety and depression, but never really understood why I was often unable to speak as a child. I spent a lot of time isolated, fearful of any social interaction no matter how small. The feeling of intense loneliness and the belief that I was fundamentally flawed followed me through life, manifesting in unhealthy ways over the years. 

Turning self-hate into self-love has been a long journey that still continues. In addition to therapy, my lifeline is strong, supportive women. Starting with my mother and sister and now a circle of close friends, I know I have a safe place to fall back on even as my amygdala runs wild in everyday life. Each time I come out of a low point in my depression or push through anxiety, I feel stronger and better equipped to handle the next thing that comes along.